Lesson of the Day.

"If you can't explain it easily, you don't know it well enough." (by someone I can't remember)

Something I need to remember about my feelings.

Lost

It just seems like I'm standing in a crowded street market, with people minding their own business, shopping what they need, living their lives, and I'm standing right in the middle of it all.

I look around, and as always, I can't see people's faces. They're all unfamiliar to me.
They don't see me 'cuz they've their own problems and won't bother to check on someone as they pass.

And I'm standing.

So I start to walk some place, I wanna get out of the mess, I wanna observe as I always do when I'm alone. Sit at the corner and look. But there's no way out unless I get to be all busy, and running and blind to the others.

So I stay there.

Then I see someone coming in my direction, someone I know, and instead of feeling better it just makes me feel like I could crash. And I do. Not because they make me feel bad, but because they make me feel safe as they'd protect me if I need. And they do.
Then we walk around a bit.
Other people seem to actually see me now, as if an invisible cloth was just taken off of my shoulders. I smile and it all seem better.

But them, the friend has to leave for they own lives, as everybody has to, at some point.
I can't go with them.
It's my shopping on the street market, I'll have to do it by myself.

Things turn into a blur once more and I try to reach out for them. It seems like I'm never close enough. And the good things are all taken by others who know what they're buying.

I'm just standing there.

Lost in the middle of the crowd.