Christmas' Suicide.

"It's Christmas Eve. She lays on the sofa, the same one she doesn't leave for three days now. All those silly old Christmas movies on TV, the snow and the lights outside don't let her forget that she's alone for Christmas.
She opens up what seemed to be the third bottle of wine and refill her half empty glass. - "Half empty..." - she says, talking about her life this time.
She rather see her life half empty instead of half full. All the dreams she achieved on the last couple of years, all great places and people she met, everything was gone tonight. - "What's the point?" - she thought and drank.

By her on the sofa, some pills made her laugh. Pills that once were used to keep her awake to finish the work during college (which, by the way, helped her to get where she was now), were going to be used for... This.

She grabbed the glass of wine, four or five pills, and swallowed everything with just one sip.
Her head was resting comfortably on the sofa as she waited looking at the tv. The image started to vanish before her and she smiled. She would finally be free.

The Loneliness left her mind, it knew it was over with her... At least until the next day, when the sleeping pills would not work anymore, and she would find herself alone on Christmas morning.

Talent. (Breathe)

"The clock shows 1:12am. I've been laying here for more than 4 hours now, trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep. I already did all the rituals that normally works to put me down but nothing worked, so I decided to use this time and the thoughts that keep coming to my mind to do something "useful".

On the Ipod "Breathe (2am)" [Anna Nalick] made me think about this: some people are really talented!
It's not the first time that I come to this brand new conclusion on my own.

How can someone sit down for a number of hours (or days, or months, it doesn't matter) and after that have something so beautiful that speaks, no only for the one's soul but for other people's as well?
Like the song says: "2 am and I'm still awake writing a song, if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, cause these words on my diary, screaming out loud, and I know that you'll use them, however you want to." It must be amazing to realize that the way you put your feelings out can become a beautiful song, or dance, or act, or paint... And that, that particular thing will become someone else's inspiration for new songs, dances, acts, paints...

A friend of mine taught me how to actually see some of these beauties and I gotta say, it makes a hell of a difference.

Just wanted to share the thought. Now I'll go back to bed, dark, Ipod and talent until I'm not conscious to listen to it anymore.

Good Night."

A Personal One.

"Ela é o seu primeiro contato com o mundo aqui fora.
Ela é a primeira a te ter nos braços, e o unico lugar onde você se mantém calmo e se sente seguro.
Ela é a que passa as noites em claro, assistindo você dormir, depois de ter passado horas tentando vencer a febre que não cedia.
Ela é a que passa horas tentando fazer você se alimentar naquela fase em que não queremos comer, e é aquela que passa outras boas horas no telefone pra garantir que você tem comido direito agora que ela não pode mais te sentar no cadeirao.
Ela é quem te ensina a falar, andar, escrever suas primeiras letras, passar pela primeira decepção amorosa...
E é a quem briga por notas boas no colegio, por companhias confiaveis, por te ter de volta em casa antes da meia noite, porque esse e o unico jeito em que ela vai conseguir descansar, sabendo que você esta seguro no quarto ao lado.

Ela é aquela em quem você vai se espelhar, pra quem vai ligar pedindo a receita de sopa ou o conselho importante.
Ela é você, so que com menos erros e bem menos burradas.
é ela quem você vai querer ser quando crescer.

Mãe."

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Mais um aniversario da pessoa que me colocou no mundo e eu não estou lá. Já que não posso abraçá-la pessoalmente, resolvi escrever um texto em homenagem a ela, desejando um lindo dia, muitos sonhos a realizar e mais uns 150 anos de vida.
Te amo Mãe, Parabens!!!

Temporary Home.

It's been a while since I last came here, I've been working on some things to return... And as I'm here laying in bed, ready to sleep, I started to listen to Carrie Underwood's "Play On" and I found this song.
This is not something I want to turn into a habit, post songs and other people's texts, but I decided that this one deserves a spot.
Anyway, here it is:

Carrie Underwood

Temporary Home

Songwriters: Laird, Luke Robert/ Maloy, Zac/ Underwood, Carrie

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad, another school
Another house that’ll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face...

This is my temporary home
It’s not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I’m passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home

A young mom on her own
She needs a little help, got no where to go
She’s looking for a job, looking for a way out
‘Cause a half-way house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we’ll find our place here in this world...

This is our temporary home
It’s not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we’re passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we’re going
I’m not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers, “don’t cry for me,
I’ll see you all someday”
He looks up and says,
“I can see God’s face”

This is my temporary home
It’s not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I’m passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

This is our temporary home