terça-feira, 20 de dezembro de 2011

Good or bad?

I wish I could just not care about all that, but it's fucking incredible how bad it makes me feel.
And I wish it wouldn't affect me this much. Maybe someday I'll be as strong as I try to sell.

It's like having a sister hatting you, just cause it's "the right thing to do", to have such an unchangeable opinion. No matter how much you try to argue. And the worst thing it's that it hurts. And they don't even care about hurting you, because "you have to learn".

It is a bad feeling to have inside, the jealousy, I know that! But it's not towards them, it's not towards anybody. It's not hurting them in any level, I'd never do that. Why would they just like saying what they do? To hurt me? Like someone did to them?
I wasn't there! It was not my fucking fault. I shouldn't be the one being punished for being sincere, when I though I wasn't being judge.

I'd never do something like that to them, not ever. I never did it to anyone in my life, for Christ sake!
I'm not a bad person if I keep it to myself, am I? If I don't hurt anyone, that makes me at least a "fair" person, right? I have to believe that.
Believe that I'm good. I'm not "bad" just 'cuz someone think I am. Even if that someone was the person who was supposed to know you the most. And they probably do.

Someday I won't care.

1 comentários:

DaniTheGirl disse...

Whatever you say, I still think envy is unacceptable. It IS a major character flaw IN MY EYES. that's what I think, it doesn't matter if you didn't do anything to me, or if you never hurt anyone. I just despise the way of thinking and feeling that envy embodies.
most people spend their lives hating on everybody else because they think life isn't fair, because they don't wanna try and because they don't wanna bare their crosses and THINK (just think) somebody else's is lighter.
So, perhaps, it's good for you and you are okay with it, which is great, most people are okay with it, most people live this way as well but don't ask me to be okay with it, to understand it, to accept it, i won't!